How to Cope With a Disrespectful and Manipulative Adult Child (Children) Living at Home
Understanding how to cope with a disrespectful and manipulative adult child (or children) at home is an epidemic that is on the rise for parents today. This is not a new matter; they just seem to have become more brazen with it as the years progress. Learning how the problem begins and what to do during the episodes will determine how you succeed in correcting it and maintaining your health while staying balanced.
We give birth and take care of our child (children) the best way we know how. Some of us go the extra mile in putting ourselves through some unbelievable sacrifices to make sure that we provide only the best for them during their childhood years. No limit is placed on the lengths some parents will go to make sure that everything is as it should be for the comfort of their child (children).
When they reach maturity, it is the hope of every parent that the principles and morals that were taught will be absorbed. It is said ‘you make your kids but not their minds’. As parents, we still expect to see some trace of what was shown over the years. To our surprise, this can sometimes take a drastic turn for the worse. When this occurs, you are faced with the results of it and the struggle to try and correct things. This battle is not only with your child (or children) but also with yourself to maintain your own sanity.
When this occurs, you are faced with the results of it and the struggle to try and correct them.”
Experiencing abuse from your child (or children) and watching all that you have instilled in them come apart before your eyes can leave a parent heart-broken and in despair. When and if this day comes your way, how do you cope and what do you do to keep yourself balanced while working to make sure it all stays under control? I have seen this situation pull down the strongest of the strong and have battled with it in my own life; this is, by far, one of parents’ worst nightmares!
Knowing how to cope with an adult child (or children) is a task on its own but when they become disrespectful, manipulative and/or verbally abusive, these are the most hurtful things a parent could ever endure – regardless of which one it is (mother or father). I want to go even further and say that this makes more of an impact on mothers simply because we are the ones to make that first bond.
You have already done your job in raising your child (or children). There is no reason to allow yourself to be ill-treated or become a doormat to them under any circumstances. It is your life to live now, so work to correct all wrongdoings but, simultaneously, focus on living and enjoying your life as you see fit – your main focus should always be ‘you’.
Any kind of abuse can emerge from a child to a parent; it can occur for various reasons. When and if it does, it is important to understand what steps to take to position yourself to take care of ‘you’ while finding the best way to pull yourself through this painful and stressful period successfully.
This is a problem most of us parents are having. We just put out a book on this topic. Here is the link: https://www.amazon.com/Disrespectful-Manipulative-Adult-Child-Children-ebook/dp/B0HH89PJHY. Learn how and why this issue can occur and get some insight on methods you can use to fix it while keeping yourself strong, balanced, and healthy through it all.
MLR
1 Comment
Oh my god!!!! The sleepless nights I’ve endured from my adult son and daughter. The put downs and emotional stress because they are so manipulating. They both have the same manipulative mind set and it really starts when they don’t get what they ask for or what they want to borrow. I feel like the worst in the world. I have even convinced myself I was a horrible parent and they were raised in such a bad environment. That’s how they make me feel. But I know that’s not so. I can remember the laughs and the love in our home. Yes We tried to do the best we could. Remember the vacation the birthday parties. Yes we struggled having 3 small children under the age of 4. But we did it. Tried to teach them right from wrong. Tried telling them to watch the company they keep. Tried to teach about honesty and staying true to your word. They are why we worked sick and wanted a better life for them and to have more than we did growing up. But that hurt more than help them. But to hear them they was raised by horrible parents. I catch my 2nd child doing or saying the things he said he hated as a child to his son and I will tell him to break the cycle if that’s what he hated. I can’t change what they think or say. But I can change how I respond. Just today 5/17/20 my 23 year old daughter wanted to borrow my car because her car is on the brink right now. I said no. Because her car is 4 years older than mine. Looks like something you would find in a junk yard. So if you don’t treat your ride with care then you want mine. So she played the card of ugly text and putting me down knowing that I would keep the texting up for hours. But I’m mentally tired. So she texted and said she was just going to walk to her friends house and how dangerous it is for a woman to be out walking at night and hoped she gets hit by a car. My response back was to please make sure you have on clean underwear and I turned my phone over and told her I would block her negativity responses. I also told her if she needed anything she could call 911 or her dad. But I never see his phone light up from a call or text. They don’t do their dad the way they do me. So I’m learning and will continue to learn.