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Love the One You’re in – How to Love Yourself After Age 40 and 50

Learning to love yourself is an absolute necessity if you want to grow older gracefully.  It is a skill that is developed over time when one is serious about looking her best and staying healthy physically as well as mentally.  Loving yourself is crucial because everything is stemmed from it.  When you feel good about you, it shows. There is a special light that permeates from you and everyone sees it.  The way you carry yourself; your attitude towards others; the foods you choose to eat and drink all stem from how you feel about you.  This disposition controls the way you behave all around.

Surprisingly, when you display this kind of confidence and control, you will find that others may try to challenge it.  Be aware of this and stand your grounds — staying positive.

We are our biggest critique, in that, we are always questioning things about ourselves — how we look, etc.  Because of this, it is very common to have some insecurities.  This is okay, what is not good is when we give into the self-talk.  Unfortunately, there will always be that special one to egg us on in our negative thinking (smiling), but I am here to tell you that you should not be discouraged.  Always trust your instincts and continue to see yourself as the beautiful person that you are.  The good news is that no one is perfect; we all have faults. The part to remember is that you have qualities that no one else possesses; they are specific to you.  Find what those are and work with it.  Don’t allow anyone to manipulate how you feel about yourself.

Today, we find ourselves actively trying to be everything to someone.  I hate to pop the bubbles, but that is humanly impossible.  For example, if you are tall and sleek but your mate prefers a short and full figured person, what should you do?  The answer is simple ‘absolutely nothing’.  That person needs to move on and look for someone that fits this description.  If you have small breasts and your special one prefers them large, you should not feel compelled to run off to a surgeon — unless, of course, you want to — for you.  The point is ‘don’t try to be someone else to please your mate’.  He or she knew what qualities you had when they met you.  Don’t be willing to change who you are to please someone else — just be yourself.  I believe we all have our own uniqueness.  No one has it all, so don’t let anyone interfere with your persona or make you feel less of a person because you don’t have the qualities they are looking for.  It is much easier to just be you.

Loving yourself is the key.  It is also very dangerous depending on someone else to make you feel good about yourself.  This is the most lethal route you can take.  I say this because ‘what if the person you are catering to is immature, mentally unstable or whatever else that stunts our growth to proper adulthood, then what’?  You will be setting yourself up for disaster.  Do not give anyone that kind of power over you.

Love and respect yourself first and others will follow your lead in giving you what you need to continue to nurture the inner you.  It is a good idea to continuously work to identify with who you are as a person and what is needed to feel whole.  Do not depend on anyone to do that for you.  Realize the rock you are on at all times through spirituality (the source).  When you understand how to achieve this goal, it will be difficult for anyone to come along and disrupt who you are inside (Psalm 92:14-15).  Why? Because you will be standing on solid grounds as opposed to sand.



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