Having self-love is the best thing we can do for ourselves to maintain our balance, especially in midlife years (after age 40 and 50).
When we are making our way to midlife, we have a lot that we endure. This is the time when all the negative experiences we’ve had will take a toll on us. And depending on the intensity of what our perception is for what took place, could play a major role for the kind of person we become. Self-love will assist with this predicament. When present, it aids in helping us to bounce back so that we can keep our focus for our overall well-being.
Self-love is a skill that most of us are born with while others work to develop over time. Either way, it is paramount that we acquire it so that we can guard ourselves against the ongoing abuse that tries to come our way.
When we hit the threshold of being over 40, 50 and 60, society, along with the opposite sex, is in position to remind us that we are becoming or is now considered obsolete and that we need to surrender to whatever treatment we receive – settle for less. Nothing is further from the truth!
At this stage, most of us are in building mode where we are still discovering ourselves and becoming more of an amazing human being. This group of women I’m referring to have gone the extra mile to do the work and have made the choice to learn and grow as they go through life.
A high percentage of us women did not invest in the part mentioned above (learn and grow within) but have gone on to do the norm of giving birth to another person (ones who are, most likely, in their adulthood); holding things down on a job (if not running it entirely); helping to keep the home balanced; and just doing big things to keep themselves secured!
This selective group of women have worked to put everything in place to ensure their survival in midlife years; in their mind things are all set for the future. The problem here is ‘we are not in full control of the future’. Therefore, twists and deep turns can occur at any time (smiling)’!
While this group were laser focused on putting things in place, they forgot to pay attention to ‘self’ – forgetting, as mentioned above, that ‘life happens’, and that ‘people and things can change in the blink of an eye’.
These mishaps are what have trapped more than 50% of us because we almost always neglect to build on the more essential things that are internal – we overlook working on our emotional intelligence; self-care to help with self-esteem so that our self-worth and value will be up to par; these are all items of self-love. When they are lined up the right way, we tend to be more balanced within ourselves. We would normally watch who we have in our circle; be conscious of what we put in our bodies; have pride in our appearances; and be more accepting of who we are as individuals.
Conversely, when there is a lack thereof, we become more susceptible to becoming co-dependent on people, places, and/or things to feel validated. This is a very dangerous route for more than one reason. For example, when others are aware of our insecurities, it is very seldom empathy will be shown. More often, it will be used as a weapon to enforce a form of control to keep us in a place of uncertainty. And if there are wounds that we are silently battling, this situation could push us into an even darker place.
This is how most of us wind up in staged situations, leaving us feeling unfulfilled and trapped even though we worked to set things up for a bright and promising future – all because we forgot to build on that simple thing called ‘self’.
In midlife years, it is important to not only possess self-love but to understand what it means to have it. When it’s present, no matter what the outside world does to convince you otherwise, you will know your self-worth and value and what you need to maintain that balance for complete peace and happiness from within. This will cause you to firmly keep a line drawn that no one will dare to try and cross.