Say it Loud “I’m Unhappy” is an article on how women over 40 can identify their unhappiness and do something about it; basically, how to be happy in midlife. Here, we are focusing on the steps midlife women can take to induce their happiness,
Support for women in midlife is a huge factor with MidLife Rises, which is why we dedicate ourselves to helping women identify all of the factors that might hinder them from blooming. We recognize that our emotional state, along with other things, start to go awry around this time (over 40). This article is touching base with our happiness during and when we are approaching midlife.
I define happiness as having a piece of mind. Whether it is with money or just feeling settled within ourselves, it is having that comfort level of knowing everything is the way it is supposed to be. When we are not comfortable with something (our family life; relationships; job, etc.), it can really interfere with our well-being. Turning the other cheek on this discomfort can eventually take a toll on our health.
I mentioned in an earlier article that it is natural for us to adapt to our immediate environment. I am not one of those people. I examine my feelings on a regular basis, and I do that to make sure I understand how I feel at all times.
Years ago I had to make a very hard decision to separate from the man I had intended on growing old with. It was not an easy one because we have three beautiful boys, and at the time, they needed both their parents; they were, yet, very young. I was not in my original hometown, so my family and friends were limited. I am naturally a happy person, but I had an experience that I would not wish on my worst enemy. This is one of the reasons why the foundation we set ourselves upon should belong to one person, and that is the one responsible for us being on this earth (God the Father). This way, we will always be standing on solid grounds. If I knew what I did today, I would have been more prepared for what I went through.
At first, my instinct was to just keep on going with my regular routine (work, home life, school (I was trying to complete my degree at the time)). It is not an easy thing to make abrupt changes to your life when it is at this level — you just know it is going to be disruptive. But when you have faith and are allowing the universe to determine your steps, things just have a way of working itself out (Psalm 91:14-16).
I remember opening up to a friend at school, describing unexplained symptoms (communicating your feelings are also very important), and he said to me “I don’t really want to say anything, but that is stress”.
It is very common to try and hold on to something you are used to — even though it is taking a toll on your health; we are all wired that way. Some have developed more of a resistance than others to continue to ignore the body’s negative signals — that is, until it starts to breakdown. Luckily, I have the habit of actively questioning my feelings. Periodically, I would stop and say out loud “wait a minute, I’m unhappy”! When I do that, I immediately start looking at why and begin making adjustments to fix things. I do this by playing in my mind what I need to do, and once I start to feel happy sensors, I would begin to move towards that goal. I take my comfort in life very seriously — which is why I do not interfere with anyone that threatens my balance. In plain words, I try to surround myself with people that have the same disposition as I do (fruit of the spirit).
When you understand where the source of your happiness is, and your mentality is in the right place (being content and grateful), the light of your life gears you in the direction to achieve the peace and joy you deserve (Isaiah 60:1). See our article on ‘controlling emotions’.
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